Mumma

Standing outside in the cold, heads bowed, praying over the children inside my heart start to thump. Truly I was nervous I wouldn’t feel the weight of these children’s lives like I want to. I grew up so different than they did. Always having a place to lay my head, and although Ive faced struggles in my life, mine was never like the one these kids experience. I carry a little too much weight on my shoulders as the door opens. Theres a particular scent to the orphanage, one I truly couldn’t put my finger on. My teammates and I put on slippers, since we can’t wear socks due to the floors having fungus, and head to the room with all the children. Every day I went my heart grew fonder of the kids, their stories, and personalities. Each time I felt closer to them like we were friends instead of just someone visiting in passing. Take in mind these kids spoke little to no english. Everything we did with them was through hugs, motions, facial expressions, and pointing. It’s crazy to me how close to I can get to someone who doesn’t understand the words coming out of my mouth. Every day we played games, taught dances, made crafts for Christmas, gave a lot of hugs, and loved on the kids. My heart grew attached to an 8 year old boy named Bagdad. He was crazy running around and always jumping on everyone, but when he jumped on me and was hanging on, he rested his head in my neck and I rubbed his back as he just clung onto me. It was as if all the running around was for show, but right when someone held him he felt so at peace. From that moment on, he was attached to my hip. He called me “Mumma” and nothing else. No one else was allowed to have my attention. I found myself falling asleep at night wondering what nights were like for him. If anyone told him goodnight, tucked him in, if he had pajamas, and what he would grow up to be like. My heart growing more and more for him and kids without families. On my last day at the orphanage, he wrote me a note that said “I love you always Camden.” I asked God for a heart that would break for these children and I felt mine crumble in that moment. With him being only eight, I know there is a big chance he will forget me, but I never will forget him. He has grown my desire to adopt, and pretty much sealed the deal that I will. There was honestly no point to this blog other than to tell you about Bagdad and my love for him. I think of him now as Ukraine becomes more and more in danger of war. I know my God will keep him safe as tensions become stronger. Whenever you can, give my guy Bagdad a prayer.